


back up, baby, back up

by Ethereally



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alcohol, Ambiguous Relationships, Ambiguous Route (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Body Image, Character Study, F/M, Gender Dysphoria, Implied Sexual Content, Post-Time Skip, Trans Male Character, non-sexual nudity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23422837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ethereally/pseuds/Ethereally
Summary: Annette would be lying to say that she hasn't fantasized about this, about being pressed up against Felix in the privacy of her room. But when calloused fingers slip underneath the hem of her nightgown, gently stroking her thigh, she feels herself tense. At this point, she isn't sure if the fluttering in her stomach is caused by snakes or butterflies.With Felix, Annette learns to speak her own language of desire.
Relationships: Annette Fantine Dominic/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 14
Kudos: 109





	back up, baby, back up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [2Hummingbirds](https://archiveofourown.org/users/2Hummingbirds/gifts).



Their lips crush against each other's, clumsy and unbridled. Felix still tastes like craft beer and meat stew, and his movements are nervous, tentative, as though they hadn't already done this several times before, but this time feels different-- perhaps it's the novelty of their current locale, or just the alcohol getting to her head. They're sitting on Annette's bed, Felix's legs crossed and Annette nestled in his lap, peppering his jaw with kisses; her heartbeat rings in her ears, and she wills it to stop, _stop_. She can't let her nerves ruin this now. Not when he's got a hand cupping her waist, and another stroking her hair, just the way she likes it, but they've never been in a place this private, and it's simultaneously tantalizing and terrifying.

Annette would be lying to say that she hasn't fantasized about this, to be pressed up against Felix in the privacy of her room. But when calloused fingers slip underneath the hem of her nightgown, gently stroking her thigh, she feels herself tense, and at this point, she isn't sure if the fluttering feeling in her stomach is caused by snakes or butterflies. She wonders for a second if he's feeling the same way that she does: after all, she'd been the one to tug on Felix's arm, sweetly asking him if he'd come back to her room, but she pushes the thought away. Annette leans up, kissing Felix's earlobe.

She can't set him up and then proceed to let him down.

It isn't just because Felix is the only person who's ever held her in his arms and spoke of desire, when she also desired him back-- but he's also the only person who's looked into a sea of people and spotted her in the midst of all the brighter and bolder colors, pointed at her and said “this one.” It's why she wraps her arms around his neck, pressing her nose against his like the heroines do in Ashe's steamy knight stories. He's the antithesis of the dashing knight and she's hardly a prim and proper princess, but she likes the way he wraps his hands around her waist, and how he makes her laugh while she sings. That's enough reason to try to hold on to Felix, to make sure he stays.

Felix pulls away from Annette, frowning down at her.

“You're nervous.”

The room is dim, illuminated by just a small lantern at Annette's desk, but she can still make out the creases of his face, the bags underneath his eyes. The warm flickering light dances in Felix's amber gaze, and Annette can see herself reflected in it, panicked and scared and _disappointing_. Annette blinks back at him. Now snakes are definitely churning in her gut, and bile retches at the back of her throat. She's ruined this, hasn't she?

“I... I'm not,” she stutters, but she's never been much of a liar. Felix clicks his tongue.

“We can stop here. It's pointless if you don't want this.”

“How did you know?” Annette exclaims, the words falling from her lips before she can catch them. Her eyes widen, and she cups her mouth with both her hands in shock, stumbling back from Felix's lap towards the foot of her bed. Felix sighs.

“I-- I can tell,” he says, turning away from Annette, staring out the window into the warm summer night. Felix kneads the spot where Annette once sat on his teal trousers. She searches his expression, studying the way his lips are pulled taut and his chest rises and falls a little too quick, and her fingers dig into the linen sheets.

"I'm sorry," she sputters, "I really did think that maybe-- maybe you'd want to-- maybe I'd want to,"

"It's fine," Felix says, unfolding his legs and letting them dangle off the side of the bed. He still doesn't meet her gaze. "It's better like this."

She isn't sure whether the cold feeling washing over her is panic or relief. "W- what do you mean by that?"

"I said it's _fine_ ," Felix snaps, and Annette feels herself recoil, inching backwards on the bed in panic. Felix whirls around, eyes wide, lips parted in abject horror.

"Sorry-- you didn't deserve that," he stutters. "I just..."

Felix hoists his legs back onto the mattress, before crawling over towards Annette. He laces his fingers in hers, and Annette bites her tongue as Felix guides her hand to his chest. She can feel his heart racing through his binding. Their eyes meet again, and Annette nods in acknowledgement. It helps to know that he's as nervous as she is. Maybe more so.

"We don't have to do anything now," she says, as quietly as she can muster.

Felix nods. "That sounds better." She sees his shoulders relax, and Annette only just realizes how tense Felix was earlier. A pang of guilt stabs through her. "I'm sorry,” Felix continues, “And," his brow knots, "Don't you dare try to apologize back."

Annette nods. "I'm sor--" Felix's gaze pierces through her, and she stumbles over the words, "I- I'm not sorry, I promise! I just, I wanted to when I asked you to come back with me, but once we started I started to get nervous, but I felt like we had to--"

"Fuck _had to_. Nobody's making the rules except us."

His tone is even and deadly serious. But Annette can't help but laugh-- she feels like a Heal spell has just run through her veins, like every knot in her body has come undone.

"You're right," she says. "Thanks for that."

"No problem." He smiles softly, and it's electrifying. Felix had once told her he was captive to her voice, but she's found herself chasing the highs of every rare smile: especially when they're alone, and she can pretend that he's saved them especially for her. Maybe she's the one who's ensnared, inexplicably lured in by his taciturn charms. "Just so you know, I-- I wanted to at first, too. A-- another time would be nice."

He's definitely blushing, and it's been long enough that the alcohol should have worn off. Annette beams. She leans in, getting up on her knees so she can give Felix a soft kiss on his forehead.

"It's a deal!" she says, in a sing-song voice that she knows Felix likes. He flushes even pinker, and it's nice to see that things have gone back to normal between them. "We can just spend time here together. Would you like me to sing for you? To make up for this..." her voice trails off, "This mess."

Felix had perked up slightly at the mention of Annette singing, but her second sentence makes him heave a loud sigh. He lifts a hand to rub at his temple.

"Stop beating yourself up. You don't exist just to please me. Don't you want rest?"

"I--" Annette begins to protest, but Felix gives the pillow next to him a harsh pat. Now it's Annette's turn to let out a loud, dramatic groan. She drops her head onto the mattress. "Fine, fine! I'll rest! See if I ever sing for you again."

Felix rolls his eyes, but the soft smile returns to his face. "You will." He stands up, stretching, and Annette takes a moment to admire his toned arms in his sleeveless black turtleneck. "I'll take my leave now. Sleep well."

Annette nods, pulling the covers off her bed; she nestles herself into the space under the blankets. There's a Felix-sized indent where he sat on her bed, and she curls up inside it, wrapping her arms around her legs. It smells like pine needles and soap, and she realizes with a jolt that she doesn't want him to leave. He's pushed her door open, and is about to step into the hallway. After everything that had happened, it felt selfish to ask him to stay, and yet--

“Please, don't go!” Annette exclaims, far louder than she intends.

He whirls around, mouthing the words _You'll wake someone up_. She cups her mouth with her hands, eyes wide, but she hears the door click behind her. Felix walks back and sits down at the foot of the bed, and Annette swallows the lump in her throat. It's now or never.

“Maybe we could... We could spend the night together. Not like _that_ ,” she sputters, raising her hands to clarify, “But would you stay here with me? Only... Only if you want!”

Felix nods. “I wouldn't mind that,” he says, and the panic rising in Annette's chest settles into some semblance of calm. She edges herself towards the right side of her bed, grabbing the pillow with her. He'd mentioned pillows being too soft for him to sleep on once, and Annette can't help but wonder if he'll ever allow himself any gentleness, or the sweet embrace of rest: then again, that made them two peas in a pod in a sense.

Felix gets up to grab the lantern from Annette's desk, puffing at it to blow the fire out. It's mostly dark now, save for the faint light pouring in from the dining hall, and the shadow cast by the full moon. He clicks his tongue.

“There's hardly enough room in your bed for one... Let alone two. It's going to be hot if we're pushed up together,” Felix says, pulling at the hem of his turtleneck. “I can't sleep in this.”

“True...” Annette's voice trails off, and she buries her face in her pillow. “Do you need to go back and get changed?”

“Actually,” Felix mutters, his gaze flickering towards the window, “If you wouldn't mind, I thought I'd just... I'd just take my shirt and binding off.”

“Of course it's okay,” Annette smiles up at him, flipping onto her back and patting the pillow-less space next to her. It can't have been easy for Felix to bring that up. “Whatever you're comfy with!”

“Mm,” Felix says. Tentatively, he slides off his turtleneck, and begins to unhook his chest binder. “Do me a favor, won't you? You can watch, but... Don't comment on how I look.”

Annette nods, not saying anything as Felix's binder drops onto the ground. He picks the stray articles of clothing up, folding them neatly and placing them on Annette's desk. She steals a glance. Scars pepper Felix's chest and torso, and there's a particularly gnarly gash on his shoulder that he got from trying to protect Dimitri in a skirmish. It's kind of hot. But she keeps the thought to herself-- maybe he'll feel comfortable enough for her to share the sentiment some day. Felix rolls his pants off, hanging them across her chair, revealing a pair of plain boxer shorts which he keeps on. He walks towards the bed, burrowing under the covers, and leans over to give Annette a kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks,” he says, even though Annette isn't sure she did anything at all. She smiles back at him, and inspiration strikes her like a Thoron spell; she sits up in bed, throwing the covers off where Felix is lying.

“I have an idea,” she says. Felix grimaces, grabbing the blanket and pulling it closer to his chest, and she mutters a soft “Sorry,” before continuing. She pulls her nightgown up from under her legs, throwing it onto the floor; she's normally much neater than this, but she's far too tired to hang it up. Her heart begins to race again as she unhooks her bra as well. Scars litter her body in a similar fashion, and there are marks around her ribcage from where Cutting Gale's been sucked from her lungs. She's never liked her arms, or her stretch marks, or her stomach, but it's just a matter of time before Felix sees them all-- he might as well start now. He turns around so he's lying on his side, studying her. Annette swallows the lump in her throat.

“I, I hope this isn't a disappointment. I'm just really good at choosing clothes that look good on me, and--”

Felix reaches out to grab Annette's hand, squeezing it gently. “You're beautiful.” There's something almost reverent about how he speaks the words, and Annette feels a brilliant warmth burst through her chest and stomach, like she's swallowed pure sunlight. Still, she can't be too certain.

“Y- don't lie,” she huffs. “It's so dark! You can barely see me.”

She can just hear Felix smile. “I see you well enough. And I know.”

Annette sucks in a breath of hot summer air. She's defeated for the moment, but tomorrow she'll square up against Felix in the training grounds and she'll win. She slips underneath the sheets, pressing her body close to Felix's, nuzzling the space between his face and shoulder. He wraps an arm around her, pulling her towards him.

They're hot, and sticky, and one of them will inevitably kick the blanket off in the middle of the night. It's perfect. Despite everything, this _feels_ perfect: they're in the middle of a nation-shattering war, any of their friends could be dead by tomorrow, and Annette's in bed with the first person who's loved her the same way she's loved them. Guilt creeps up on her again, but Annette pushes the feeling from her mind. She's got to hang on to the small pleasures in the middle of wartime, and perhaps, after everything she's been through, she can allow herself this. It feels like a small miracle that she's holding Felix in her arms, that anyone would deign her worthy enough to be loved like this. And Felix, of all people! Felix, who'd spent most of their Academy days being as cruel and callous and rude to everyone whose path he'd crossed, had sought her out and tried to be her friend, and now...

Her eyes well up with tears, and Annette squeezes them shut. It's too late. She's crying, and a drop of liquid falls on Felix's bare skin. He pulls away from her, lips parted in surprise.

“You're crying,” he says, as though it isn't the most obvious thing in the world. Annette nods, wiping a tear away with her hand.

“Sorry, I just... I just started thinking, and it's just... I'm just really happy to be here, that's all.”

Felix grabs both her shoulders, smiling back at her. He looks so uncharacteristically soft and radiant in the dim light that Annette can't help but cry even harder, burying her face in his shoulder once again. “I don't understand, I don't understand--”

“Explain yourself,” Felix says, rubbing circles into Annette's back.

“I don't get it!” Annette exclaims, and this time, Felix doesn't remind her that people down the hall might be sleeping. Instead, he presses another kiss to her forehead, and the burst of gratitude that springs through Annette is absolutely, completely indescribable. “I never did anything to make you like me. I never tried to please you at all! I thought you were evil for so long, and yet you,” Annette chokes back more tears, letting out a rather ungraceful sniffle, “You kept trying to be my friend anyway, and now we're here...”

Ever the poet, Felix manages to muster up the words, “I guess.” 

It's so pathetic, Annette can't help but laugh through her tears. She can't believe she finds even _this_ endearing now, and she gives him a gentle kick under the sheets. 

“That's not a real answer! You were so mean to everyone five years ago, you know that? Mercedes told me, Ashe told me, Dedue told me, and that's why I just knew you were the actual worst! And then you march up to me in the greenhouse and want to hear my stupid songs about cake. You don't even like cake! What am I supposed to make of it? What did I do,” Annette asks, gripping Felix's bicep, “What did I do to deserve being treated differently by you? There's nothing special about me, but you were nice to mostly me and... It made me feel nice.”

Annette had never realized how heavily the last sentiment weighed in her chest. Yet as she speaks the words into being, she feels like she's just unleashed a Demonic Beast into the air. In the space between them, her darkest, most selfish thoughts have come to fruit. Does she really like Felix, or does she only like him because he's the first person to have treated her like she was special? She's not used to people having crushes on her, much less having her own feelings returned; Mercedes had always been the pretty one between the two of them, and Ingrid had managed to snag Dorothea without trying very hard at all. Perhaps she had wanted to be wanted for so long that she could barely tell the difference.

Annette studies Felix's features as he pulls away, taking a deep breath; he doesn't seem to be hurt, or upset, or anything of the like. One of her favorite things about Felix is that he mostly doesn't mince words, and she swallows the lump in her throat.

He leans in, pressing a kiss on her lips, and her doubts melt away in a matter of split seconds.

“You didn't have to do anything to be special. You just are.”

For someone who can barely string two sentences together without insulting someone, Felix can certainly be very smooth. Annette flushes bright red once again, and she's glad he can't see, because she'd never hear the end of it. She covers her face with a hand, giving Felix another soft kick.

“Y- you're evil, Felix!” she says through sniffles. She's crying so hard that her words are punctuated with hiccups, and Felix grabs her again, holding Annette in his steady arms. “I knew it! You had wicked intentions from day one. You lured me into a trap, and now I'm stuck here with you,” she chokes out. "And now I can't leave!" 

It's hard to promise him forever when they could die at any moment, or when she's still teetering back and forth on her feelings, but she can promise Felix _now_. All things considered, that doesn't seem too bad. Felix pulls Annette in closer, taking both her hands in his.

“You can go when you want. But I'd prefer you didn't.”

She can't help but smile through her tears. It's still hard to imagine that anyone might want her for who she is, but every time Felix says it, Annette's a step closer to believing him. She buries her face in his shoulder, and lets his body heat cajole her to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to ashley and grace for helping me beta. the title was taken from taylor swift's forever and always, but the real spirit of the fic comes from demi lovato's catch me. 
> 
> happy birthday to my netteflix partner in crime! 
> 
> find me on @gautired in multiship hell, and feel free to [retweet](https://twitter.com/gautired/status/1245200535025664000) the fic if you liked it!


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